Need
by MiniMorr
Summary: Schuldig and Yohji meet in a club. Parts 3/3. *complete* A sequel and a prequel in the works.
1. Need

**Need**

[Because, again, I couldn't think of a title... *sigh*]

**PAIRING:** Schu & Yotan, Schu PoV.

**DISCLAIMER:** Not mine, I know. Won't ever be mine. Please don't sue, I mean no harm.

********

I don't know how this started, and I definitely don't know how it will end. All I know is that I need him, need him more than anything else in the world. I need him, I need to look in his eyes that mirror my own, I need to feel him beside me as I lie down to sleep... I need to feel his skin against mine, to feel his body move together with mine...

Fuck.

He has truly become my obsession, my mirror image and adversary. He's everything I'm not, and I'm everything he isn't. And yet we're so alike, so truly bound to each other...

I wonder if he knows what he's doing, how he's affecting me. And I wonder if he cares. If he care enough to kill me with a word, a glance of rejection, or if it will be as if I've never existed.

He's dancing over there with some woman, moving around her in lazy circles as he's smiling at her. I've been staring at them for the past ten minutes, trying to work up my nerve to grab him and drag him out of here. This is routine for us now; meet in the dark and fumble our way out, finding some secluded spot or a hotel to spend a few hours in a creaky bed with dirty sheets. It's not enough for me anymore – I need him with me all the time, I need to feel him beside me as I move through the city during the days and nights... I need to wake up to him every morning, and I need to fall asleep by his side at night.

It wasn't supposed to go this far, I swear. It wasn't supposed to be this way, that I can't stand not being with him, not having him around... It was supposed to be a one time thing, just an experiment. I never wanted it to turn into this churning in my heart every time I see him, not this jealousy as I watch him dance with someone else... Touch someone else...

He was the first man I slept with. I was the first man he ever took to his bed, and I swear to the gods themselves that I'm going to be the last. Neither of us knew what we were doing that first night, but somehow we survived it, all the clumsy caresses and awkward moments. He trusted me enough to try this with me, as I trusted him enough to learn it with him.

Is it love? I don't believe it to be. I don't know what it is, but it's a burning inside, an ache where my heart should have been whenever I think of him. All I know is that I can't let him go, not now, not ever again. Not back to the life as another nameless assassin, as the smiling guy in the flower shop... Not to flirt with all the girls, to tease his teammates... To pretend to be enemies, to pretend that I don't exist except during those short hours we spend together...

I need him to notice me, to find me in the dark, to know where I am... I need him to know that I won't ever let him go again, back to whatever life he had before. I won't let him, because if he did, then I would be in pieces with only a tiny part of myself left. 

He's left the woman now and is heading for the bar. This is my cue, this is when I'm supposed to step in... But something's stopping me, perhaps the realization that I so rarely can watch him like this, at ease... Or perhaps I'm just going to chicken out again, as I've done before. This scares me, you know. All these emotions, all this heart wrenching whenever he leaves in the mornings. It wasn't supposed to be like this, I wasn't supposed to fall this far... 

It was supposed to be an experiment, to get him out of my blood and my life. Not to let him squirm his way in deeper, to pierce my heart and make it bleed again. That wasn't for him to do, and still he did. And I have only myself to blame for that.

I suddenly realize that I have lost him in the throng of people, but I don't have time for more than a quick scan before I feel someone behind me. Arms are wrapped around me, a head resting on my shoulder and I close my eyes as I brush my mind against his. 

_Desire, need, anger, hatred, disgust, need, desire, need, ne**ed, **need..**.**_

I turn around to look at him and as he move to release me I grab his wrists to keep his arms in place. He doesn't move now, merely stare at me with his green eyes, as green as my own. They remind me of Ireland, of the short time Schwarz spent there some years ago.

Suddenly it's too much, too long since I've felt him against me, too many nights without his skin brushing against mine... Too long since I last watched him curl up against me, holding onto me with his slender arms.

I yank him forward, landing him in my lap and capturing his wrists more firmly with my hands as he looks like he's going to protest. We don't speak, we very rarely speak on these nights. There is no need for words, there is only a need to feel.

He's watching me silently, his eyes give away nothing at this new twist to our encounters. I don't expect him to either, but all the same there's something gnawing inside me as he continue to stare at me. 

I release his wrists with one of my hands, raising it to brush against his cheek. He jerks back slightly, but still doesn't say anything, doesn't move except the small tremble running through him. Could it be... Could he want this as much as I do? Could I... _Dare_ I take that chance?

His eyes are closed, he's leaning against me a little, almost, but not quite, nuzzling the palm of my hand. Nothing exists but him, nothing except the way he shifts against me, how warm he is through my clothes, how his skin is slick from sweat and how his breath is coming in pants even now...

Nothing except him.

In the darkness, in the stroboscopic lights, he turns to me, fixing me in place with his eyes. I can see myself in them, I can see how I'm almost blushing a little... I can see my hunger, my longing.

And I can see his.

He smiles, a small smile full of secrets before leaning towards me, his eyes spearing so deeply into mine that I fear that we will never be able to part again. But perhaps that wouldn't be so bad, after all. Perhaps I could live with that, to have a part of him in me forever. Correction, I could and somehow I will. This scares me in a way, that it's all so new to me, but it's as equally new to him.

His lips finally brush against mine, so hot and inviting. He sighs into my mouth, his tongue teasing mine as I respond. My hand is buried in his hair; I can't remember moving it, all I can remember is the need to feel the silky strands against my skin again. 

He taste like liquor, perhaps a little like whiskey. Perhaps that was what he had back in the bar, I don't know. I don't care. All I know is that I love that flavour of him, that I love the spices in his taste. 

This kiss is gentle, so unlike the way we usually move in a fight for dominance with every fibre of our beings. It's so soft, so gentle... So seducing, so... So much like the way I want it to be; no pain, no humiliation. No need to show off strength... Just a slow, gentle dance...

There is no conscious thought in him anymore, nothing at all except the same fire that is racing through my veins, nothing but _need, need, need..._

He breaks off the kiss, and it almost hurt physically to lose that contact with him before he leans his head against my neck, his breath drawing a shiver from me, a moan I can't stop as he press his face against me. My arms tighten around him, I can't let him go, not now, not ever... Not ever.

I don't know how long this will last, or how it will end. I'm not sure I care.

I need him.

*******

The End...? Or something from Yohji's PoV?

This came about after listening too many times at "**If I didn't have you" by Amanda Marshall and giving the muse free reins... It's all his fault! **


	2. Obsession

**Obsession**

**PAIRING:** Schu & Yotan. Yohji PoV.

**DISCLAIMER:** Not mine, won't ever be mine, I know. Please don't sue, I mean no harm.

**ADD. NOTES:** Thanks to **Li for pointing out 'booze' – you were definitely right about that. I've fixed it and hopefully managed to upload the correct version. Thank you! :)**

I don't know where this is going, but I'll continue it for now at least... :) Yup, this is another one shot that's growing out of proportion... *wails*

I **do** know, however, that I'm dedicating this one to all those of you who love this pairing as much as I do... Not that anyone prolly would care about that, but what the hell... Let me have a moment here, okay? ;)

***********

As if by magic, I'm drawn to him every time. As if by some old, murky... spell... I always know where he is, how he is, what he's feeling... I don't know why, but we're twined together in some way. I doubt he knows how, or even why, and I doubt that he would care.

He need me as much as I need him.

I'm treading through dark, unknown waters here. I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know what I'm feeling and I can't tell up from down anymore. All that exists in my life is _him_. His breaths, his soft skin, his warm body, his hands...

My obsession.

I felt him inside me the moment he entered the club, I felt his mind brush against mine, that familiar tingle in the back of my head that gives me goosebumps. It's so soothing, that touch, so unlike every other I have ever experienced. So unlike everything I've ever felt before...

I left the girl I was dancing with, Kyoko? Keiko? I don't know and I don't care. I was heading for the bar where I hoped that he would find me, but he didn't move from where he was sitting. I don't know why, it's usually he who seeks me out in the dark. Perhaps he was waiting for me to go to him? So I did...

The first time we agreed that it was just an experiment, a way of trying to get rid of these unwanted feelings. The second time... The second time I wanted to kill him and myself for allowing this to happen.

The third time I didn't even pretend that I didn't want him.

And now... Now this is all I live for – our meetings in the night. This has become my whole life, has swallowed me up and threatened to take over my whole being. If it hasn't already...

I could never have pictured myself with a man before, and certainly not _him, of all people. My enemy, my adversary. He is everything I dare not be – cruel, harsh, a seductive devil... My mirror image, my... No. Just _mine.__

Always mine.

I would have believed him to feel me before I came up behind him, but he didn't react until I had wrapped my arms around him, until I had buried my face in his hair. Had drawn a deep breath to feel his scent mingle with my own... Had claimed him in front of everyone.

_Yes, always mine..._

Then he grabbed my wrists and yanked me down in his lap. And touched me. Gods, how he touched me... Leaving every nerve in my body tingling in pure bliss, the hair in the back of my neck standing on end... Stared at me with his jade eyes, the eyes that are so much like my own, and at the same time not. 

We don't speak, don't say a word. We don't have to. We both know how this will end, and I'm already shivering in anticipation for what is bound to happen tonight. His hands are in my hair, on my body and I suddenly crave to taste him, to feel his skin against mine... To mark him as my own, to claim him.

So I kiss him, slowly, gently, without the usual force. Without the usual show of dominance that we all too often are forced to indulge in. This is my way of claiming him, my way of leaving bruises on the inside instead of on his skin. Bruises that will take far longer to heal...

He makes a small moan in the back of his throat, his hand tightening in my hair and the tingle inside me gets stronger as I break off the kiss to press my face wordlessly against him. His skin is so soft, so alluring, so... so... The feeling inside me takes my breath away as his mind brush against mine again, and I feel all the need, all the obsession that lead me to him almost every night, lashed back to me, thrown into my face. 

What do I feel for him? Time and time again have I asked myself that, and time and time again I have been denied the answer. The only thing I _do know is that I __feel – that I am alive when he weave his mind together with mine, when we move together in a rythm as old as mankind, when we touch..._

The wordless need wash over me again, makes me shiver and groan as I shift about in his arms, my legs now hooked on either side of him, his hands gripping my hips hard enough to leave bruises before loosening up a little. I press against him, my face still buried against his neck, his face pressed against mine as we just breathe, allow ourselves to just _feel._

I don't want to move, I don't ever want to leave this place, this moment... I want this to last forever, so that in a thousand years, people can pass us and stare, and see where obsession can lead. That it truly _can stop time..._

There are no happy endings for people like us. Nothing to really take away that harsh reality for more than a few hours, but sometimes... Sometimes, a few hours might be enough.

And once upon a time it was.

But not anymore. Not when I wake up in the middle of the night, my body and my mind screaming for him, the need for him churning inside like acid. No. Not anymore.

_Not ever again..._

He is whispering my name, chanting it in my ear just loud enough for me to hear it. Seducing me with the warm breath that flicker against my skin and I shiver again. Does he know what he's doing to me? Does he care? _Would he care if I told him?_

I don't know. And _I_ don't care.

My hands shift from around his neck to slide down his arms, capturing his hands and twining our fingers together. He lift his head from my neck, his green eyes so clear that I can see my reflection in them in the erratic flashing of the spotlights. See my hunger and my need echoed in him...

I lean my forehead against his, closing my eyes as our breaths mingle again. I want to taste him again, I want to have all he can offer and more... I want him.

So I take him.

My lips press against his again, my tongue slipping into his mouth to battle with his, still the same gentle, trusting motions as just a moment ago. He tilts his head to the side and I drink up the soft moan he utters again as I shiver and try to make him go deeper inside me, deeper inside my mind, to see what he is to me. My obsession.

Yes, always my obsession...

***********

**Soundtrack:** Tori Amos, Sarah Mclachlan, Siam Shade and Amanda Marshall and a touch of Edguy ('Roses to no one' – listen and love! ;). This got me in a sort of trance-like mood that the muse took advantage of... *pouts*


	3. Afterglow

**Afterglow**

**[Part III]**

[**Disclaimer:** Not mine, won't ever be mine. Please don't sue, I mean no harm and I'm broke.]

**ADD. NOTES:** Not entirely sure what this is... But I'm guessing this is the third part of 'Need'. It felt like it anyway when it came around and demanded attention. It took me 2 hours to write. Somehow it feels overworked, and at the same time not. I'll be damned before I figure it out though... Same soundtrack as for 'Obsession'. Damn muse!!!

***********

_Limbs move under sheets, tangling, dancing, twining around each other..._

_A hand skim down a side, familiar scars are traced and loved, worshipped..._

_Another hand tangled in golden hair, lips meet in a tender kiss, soft groans, a small sigh of bliss..._

Silence.

Two still forms rest on a creaky bed, a golden head pressed against a pale shoulder. Red hair whisking over a grey pillow, damp with sweat. No movement at all, nothing except soft breaths and whispered needs. Nothing but the slowing of racing heartbeats and relaxation of limbs.

Two beings entwined, if not in bodies then still in souls, basking in each other's warmth and in the peace that reign in this moment. Arms wrapped around narrow hips bringing the bodies even closer again, kindling another kind of fire. Flames of warmth fanning out in tendrils, forcing the chill out of spent limbs. 

A leg thrown over the other's, face once again pressed against a shoulder, a throat, a cheek... Fingers skimming over muscles, shudders wrecking the stillness, another soft moan breaking the silence. A head turn, solemn green meet solemn green before closing again, pressing even closer.

Lips meet in a tender kiss, barely brushing, touching... Strengthening the spell that has finally bound them together, chained them to each other. 

They speak without words, minds weaving together, twining, turning, twisting inside till they are the same being again, can never be complete without the other. Can never feel the pain of separation again without facing their worst fears. Can never deny this bond, these threads.

Drowning in each other, drowning in the silent promises, the silent emotions... 

A hand brush back red strands, fingers marveling at the feel, green eyes worshipping the shivers, the moans... The soft sighs...

Another hand rise to return the gesture, shaking ever so slightly when touching golden skin, radiating pure bliss, pure electricity, igniting a thousand tiny flames again. Lips quiver, eyes close, breath held.

No promises spoken, no empty words destroying the moment... Nothing but silence, nothing but wave upon wave of emotions, of feelings, of skin touching skin... Of cooling bodies and tangled limbs never to part again...

Ever...

*****

Strange? Mmmm... Tell me about it... *scowls at muse* 


End file.
